Bless their souls! The following article is an homage to all the brave individuals that probably lost their lives just so that we can relax our minds and have a good laugh.
20 spectacular photos document their struggle to exit the gene pool in style. Their efforts were nominated for the Charles Darwin Award. Who do you think won?
1. Don’t Look Down
Some say the worst way to die is to have your body smashed by gravity’s relentless pull.
It seems this construction worker is completely unaware that a freefall from that height will kill him. Even the helmet on the head will do little to save his life. The only purpose it could serve is to keep the brain in one place.
You could call this bravery. However, we tend to believe that stupidity works best here. Even if you are not scared of heights, a wind gust can send you in the generous space between the orange trusses.
And there are countless other ways in which this situation can go wrong. Because we do not have information on how it evolved, we will assume the worse. The man found serenity in the gorge below.
2. Angle Grinder Disaster
Angle grinders are by a large margin the most dangerous tools that a non-professional can buy.
We all know how it feels when you are anxious to get the job done. No one reads that fine print on the instructions manual where it says you should not cut things on your buddy.
Nevertheless, we might get things wrong. Although unlikely, the photo might have captured a cruel form of torture making its way in the DIY world. Cutting someone in two means that the plywood is there just for practice.
We will return to the less horror scenario of two men doing things the wrong way. The fact that the man handling the grinder wears noise cancellation headphones troubles us. This might prevent him from hearing the screams, but the blood sprinkling his face will tell exactly when he cut too deep.
3. Bad Car Support
Old cars are known for requiring constant repairs. When you think of yourself of a handyman, there is no need to find a better-equipped workshop.
You don’t have to be a structural engineer to spot all the wrong things in this photo. While the wood sticks might be thick enough not to buckle under the load, the way they make contact with the ground makes slipping highly likely.
The man’s position is ideal in case the two-ton car falls back on all four. Perfect settings for his spine to snap in two, and leave him in agony.
There is no doubt how the scene ended. However, you can interpret the whole thing in a different way. You don’t see a man repairing a car, but a trap someone cleverly set up for a welder. We all know where the love for the smell of burnt metal takes you.
4. Playing Catch
In our Western civilized world, we have balls of all shape and sizes to play with when we are bored.
Not the same can be said about other parts of the world. Chances are someone took the photo in Syria, a country ravaged in the last couple of years by a civil war.
Even in such a harsh and bloody reality, people find the strength and resources to have some good old fun. If Assad took your ball, you could always use one projectile from last week’s leftovers.
However, there is one tiny little detail that makes this activity a Russian roulette. Failing to catch the missile is game over. No one likes a sorrow loser, but it is better than having a disfigured or cripple one.
It is pointless to ask if someone died moments after this photo captured the play. The only question is which of the two.
5. Chinese Urban Planning
This photo makes it less obvious why someone died for sure.
The aerial footage depicts one of the many Chinese cities that emerge in the middle of nowhere. When you have millions of people that need houses each year, construction gets hasty, and errors occur.
However, we are not talking about a small mistake. Someone screwed big time and approved one additional block of apartments. This might not sound as bad, but the completed construction occupies three lanes of the adjacent road. Many rush hour nightmares will unfold here in the future.
The Chinese government has low tolerance policies towards such bloopers, and you can bet someone was executed or sent to the Goby Desert for ideological training. Urban planning is Holly for OCD communist authorities, and you don’t just go away with a “sorry.”
6. Outrunning The Train
We know what you think. There is no way you can tell if the train is moving or not, and the runner in the right might have just slipped.
Just take a look at the wheels of the train. I think we can all agree that they are moving. As for the unfortunate competitor, we have no further details. He might be a seasoned runner, but you can’t beat a train going 60 km/h in a straight line.
The incredible shot taken during a marathon indicates that the organizers failed to inform the railway company about their event.
Although losing one or two runners, the overall effect of the train tracks intersecting the route was positive. Midway through their race, almost all athletes hit the “wall.” The dose of adrenaline you get from dodging a train is enough to keep you going until the end.
7. Sleep Tight
Sleep is often the only medicine we need to resume working efficiently.
However, sleeping hundreds of meters above New York City on a 40cm wide beam doesn’t cut it as relaxing. Sleep walking or just the need to turn on the other side might send your head on the hardest pillow ever. And we are not talking about the steel beam.
The incredible shot dates back to a time when the 443 meters high Empire State Building was under construction. It was taken just minutes after the iconic photo where worker aligned with their feet dangling in the air.
Chances are at least one of them died by ignoring safety rules so badly. America was teeming with immigrants back then, and construction sites attracted such poor fellows like magnets. Unfortunately, their highly probable deaths will remain unknown.
8. Look Behind
For the cute blonde teenager, this selfie in the wild had all the right ingredients to turn deadly.
To start with, the girl is enjoying the moment and acts completely unaware of the danger. Secondly, she is wearing visible “Pull & Bear” apparel, enough to trigger the animal’s curiosity.
Brown bears might not reach the same formidable sizes as grizzlies and polar bears, but their territory intersects more often with the path of humans. If you are unlucky, you end up with a bear that hates selfies and the kind of people that take pleasure from the new form of photographic art.
We will leave the photo for you to think twice about taking your photogenic girlfriend on your next hiking trip. “Bears on Blondes” is not a strange porn category, but rather a sad reality of our woods.
9. Swimming Pool Hazard
It should be obvious by now that the guys in the photo are not geniuses. Electricity and water is a combination even a kindergarten kid recognizes as dangerous.
Even so, there are many out there convinced that a pool party goes nowhere without the use of technology. Whether you want to play a tune or just keep your beers cold, you will rely on the flow of electrons you get from the power grid.
However, things are not funny when those particles make their way into your body. And all it takes is a splash of water on that power cord. For those who do not know, water is an excellent conductor of electricity.
Only this shot survive to tell the story of Dave’s pool party. If we count the number of beers on the table, chances of avoiding electrocution are indeed slim.
10. Hand Me The Hammer
Table manners exist to make living with others less painful.
However, it seems that “hand me the hammer, please” did not work as expected this time. The shot immortalized a range array of feelings, just before they had to call the ambulance.
While the man on the left seems confident he got the velocity right for the joke to work, the one sitting in the background is correctly sensing the drama about to unfold.
Chances are the man on the left had to use this photo for all his future IDs. It is impossible to think that the hammer touched the face without inflicting severe and permanent damage. Head injury is a common source of death, and we do not exclude the remote possibility.
Judging from the rural settings and the traditional pottery on the table, we have to be grateful to Mother Russia once again.
11. Driving Pokémon Go
Catch the Pidgeotto or return to your lane and avoid incoming traffic?
That is one question hard to answer if you are a devoted Pokémon Go player. Even when your life is in danger, returning home with the failed attempt at catching one of the last imaginary beats missing from your collection is not an option.
Many drivers died in this stupid ways in the last couple of months, and we are entitled to assume the same about this reckless drivers. There is something about augmented reality that makes it incompatible with public roads.
Times, when mobile phones distracted our attention with call and text messages, are long gone. Selfies, Snapchat, and Pokémon Go are part of a new wave of consumer practices that got drivers tickets from the police, or, even worse, tickets to Heaven.
12. A/C Repair Fail
Installing air conditioning units on the façade is a classic scenario in which things go wrong.
It all starts with the classic “I can do it, but I need someone to hold me.” Next thing you know you get to the ground floor faster than using the elevator. And your brain scattered on the sidewalk does not form a beautiful sight for the neighbors either.
This photo is the kind they should use in school manuals just to avoid young ones making the same mistakes later. First of all, the outside unit is not perfectly horizontal. Second, the man on the left is just making the whole procedure more difficult. It should be evident that he could not help the unfortunate from his position.
And third, we might suspect that more than one person fell over the window. The tight grip of the head and the attempted wedgy reminds us more of a wrestling match than of a job professionally done.
13. Dealing With Crocodiles
We don’t know what this man was doing, but clearly, this was no crocodile culture.
Last time we checked, the mighty beasts are survivors from a time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. Carnivores and always with an appetite for human delicacies, crocodiles deliver one of the most powerful and deadly bites in the entire animal kingdom.
The man is poking in the wrong puddle and death might be seconds away from the moment someone took this last shot. With so many crocodiles lying around, only an expert gamer would be able to dodge his way out of trouble.
From far, it appears that the man is unaware of the danger. Blame shows like “The Crocodile Hunter” or do like us and blame humanity’s loss of the sense of self-preservation.
14. Mind The Flames
Cutting metal is fun. However, it appears that at least this scenario is heading towards a somber finale.
First thing first, the man takes active steps towards damaging his eyes. Hot pieces of shrapnel and the cornea are old enemies. And we are not talking just about your 20/20 vision, but about seeing in general.
Moving to the left of the photo reveals a disaster just waiting to happen. Whatever substance you might have under pressure in those recipients, it will be more than happy to find a way out of the metal cage.
If hot enough, the flames can make their way through the metal and turn the workshop into a version of 4th of July that went wrong.
Who needs safety precautions when you did things your whole life? Many craftsmen grow an incredible confidence just because it “never happened to them.”
15. Wrong Place To Keep The Bike
Sitting with your cat on the couch and watching TV might turn deadly, but not because of the feline’s feelings towards you.
We all know that storage space is a challenge for every small home. However, this never justifies keeping your motorbike just above your head.
As far as we know, a Ducati like the model exposed on the wall weights around 400 kg, enough to give you more than a back ache. As for the poor animal, it might react fast enough to avoid the catastrophe.
Of course, hygiene rules can also be invoked here. The bike either goes through a full washing machine cycle, or it never saw the road. Whatever the case, just climbing it in that position is also cumbersome.
We lack later details on how this household work around its storage problem. However, our intuition yells at us that the man has no chance of surviving in the long term. As for the cat, it depends on which of the nine lives we are talking.
16. Bad Idea
Darwin will not be proud to see this. Some men disguised themselves as a zebra and took some steps down the trophic chain.
It is hard to say what had in mind such an experiment. We tend to believe scientist were curious to see if animals are smart enough to recognize who is or is not a member of the group.
As the pack of zebras quickly dispersed, the awkward creature attracted the attention of someone else. A group of female lions identified the easy target and deployed hunting tactics.
This is the last shot depicting the seen and we are entitled to believe things went beyond gruesome. Just imagine being stranded in the African plains dressed as a delicious zebra. If that doesn’t get you killed, we give up.
17. Break Time
Yep, shade is important when you work all day long in the sun.
However, these unfortunate men did nothing else than replace one danger with another. Skin cancer suddenly does not sound so bad when put next to being crushed by an excavator.
The worst thing though is that the scene happens under the watch of the site manager. Construction sites are known for the many hazards they expose workers to, but this went too far.
We are talking about deliberately creating the danger that probably led to deaths or serious injuries.
We bet the marketing department at Caterpillar is taking notes and plans to replicate the stunt. Indeed, what better way to promote your equipment as safe than show it can be used even in the wackiest way imaginable.
Would your risk your life this way?
18. Darwin Award
We were pretty close to awarding the Darwin award to the guys that played zebra in the African savanna. However, these daredevils caught our attention.
There are so many wrong things in this picture that we consider a certainty that someone got seriously injured. Keeping a car on two wheels is not easy and simply gets down to a question of choosing between falling on your right or your left.
We can bet the two are comfortable and well hydrated. They are about to have their skulls crushed by a three-ton monster. We don’t recognize the settings, but we go as far as saying this did not happen in the US.
Demolition derbies are an American Thing. However, the sport took a more life-threatening form in an attempt to create viral content for the Internet.
19. The Move Team
Why call a professional moving team when you can involve the whole neighborhood in the process?
The photo above reached headlines around the world when it was posted on Reddit. Someone recognized the streets, and we have a location – Portugal.
They often tell you that nothing beats team work. However, when you have grandpa holding the right side of a couch with its cane, while three men fight for the worst placement possible, you might think otherwise.
There is no way this couch will land safely on the ground. At least not according to the law of physics they taught us in high school.
The woman on the left seems to be the only one enjoying herself. She probably watched way too many fail compilation videos to know where is all heading.
20. Gasoline On Fire
Some accidents happen out of pure stupidity. However, there are few cases when curiosity is the force driving people inches away from certain death.
This young man decided it is time to test some of the most widely used English idiomatic phrases and see what lies beyond words. The unfortunate grammar Nazi started with “pour gasoline on the fire.”
Well, we all know what is about to happen. Things can go two ways. The first way leads the flames up on the stream of gasoline and into the recipient. The confused youngster drops it on its pants and burns alive cursing his linguistic adventures.
Although small, the chances of survival do exist. We can only hope this Prometheus remembers the “drop it like it’s hot” lyrics. Snoop Dogg might not be a role model, but he speaks the truth about what to do in such scenarios.