What is worse than starring along your weird and creepy family members? Why it’s simple. Adding the pets in the equation.
Decency and common sense tell most people to keep that family album well hidden. However, there will always be someone willing to share the odd things happening back home.
You must read this article if you have seconds thoughts about posting that selfie with your pet online. You will change your mind once you get to know how acid people can turn when they see something worth trashing.
The real victims are the poor animals we think of as without consciousness. God knows how many times the cat planned to kill you in your sleep.
1. Weird Family Photo Leaves Youngster With No Chance To Get Real Pussy
We have a hard time deciding what is worse in this shot.
On the one hand, we have mom’s crooked eye, and on the other we have innocent felines dragged into one of the most awkward family photos ever.
Trust us when we tell you that pets build up hate inside each time you flash them. Cats and the light share a very special kind of relation and exposing your self-cleaning balls of fur to the horrors of modern photography is not a nice gesture.
One thing is sure. The photo ruined the boy’s life. Did it ever cross your mind that your family album might contain one of these “gems?” Throw the whole thing away before it hits the Internet.
Trust us that girls don’t like the kind of men accepting to take weird family photos with pets. Toss that cat for some real pussy!
2. A Man Holds His Cock
Growing up on a farm might be the best thing ever. Wrong!
What you get is not just fresh air and delicious dairy products. Hillbillies like the one in the photo get their fair share of awkward family shots, most of them governed by an animal theme.
But you can forget about traditional companions. While city dwellers often settle for cats, dogs, and everything else you can find in the pet aisle of your local supermarket, little Joe is stuck with animals that are useful one way or another.
Why is this photo weird and even obnoxious? You can give it one of the dirtiest captions without flexing your brain muscles too much. The “young boy holding his cock” might offend some grammar Nazis, but it’s worth the risk.
Again, this not something to brag about on social media. The cool sweater and grown-up pants will never hide the fact that we raised another dysfunctional adult.
However, it is still possible to make far worse choices. Check out what’s next!
3. They Grow Up So Fast
It’s always nice to see a happy couple showing the world the fruits of their love.
What? A little bird whispered us that despite today’s genetic developments, the bizarre outcome is highly unlikely.
Even so, we appreciate their efforts of dressing the piglet. It fooled some old ladies scanning the park for people to start a conversation. When you forget your glasses at home, what you get is kissing weird pets on the forehead and asking people why their ugly kid smells like bacon.
We are happy to feature a family that will never grow through the typical food problems. The little bugger is far from being picky and watching him grow can make his parents jubilate.
Now the tough part. Will the little pig have a due date or are the parents vegetarian? God knows how far a rub on the belly can go. Next thing you know you are frying the youngest member of the family.
“Tight” is a good word to describe the next weird family photo.
4. We Call That A Tigh Family Embrace
We know what goes through your mind when you see the photo.
“Who’s the father” is a question that hits the bull’s eye. However, take a moment to analyze the other component that makes this frame awkward.
Last time we checked, cold-blooded reptiles were not great as pets. How do read your Anaconda’s signs of affection? As far as we see it, things can quickly evolve from “I love you” to “I want to swallow you whole.”
If you don’t know, the South American snakes kill their prey by constriction. You are probably familiar with the technique.
Constriction is something similar to what your huge uncle from abroad does to you after years of not seeing each other. He curls around you, releasing that pungent smell that reminds you of the awkward family duties you can’t escape.
Is it possible to have an even weirder family photo? The answer is yes.
5. Which One Was Adopted?
How cute! It looks just like you!
That’s an elegant way of avoiding to hurt the man’s feelings. Some parents refer to their pets as “children, ” and that might make it confusing.
The power of suggestion is strong with us. The facial expression tells an awkward story of interbreeding. After all, everyone in the photo is a primate, so why hide our tails.
“The Planet of the Apes”? More like “The Village of The Apes.” Back where this man comes from people make little distinction between their offspring and the animals they keep around the house. The relationships get so tangled at times; it’s hard drawing a solid line separating the two.
What we hope for is not to see the innocent toddler learning monkey business. You can read “heavy boozing” on the father’s forehead, so the odds are not good.
Send the pets away before clicking next. It will ruin their minds!
6. Incest Runs In These Families
We have two photos this time, just to show the scale of the damage.
There is nothing new here. Just the head of the family is abusing the weaker one. In this case, the curse fell on the family dog. We have serious doubts whether to label it incestuous or zoophile.
It is perfectly fine to replicate good ideas. However, it is double the fun to take on the nasty ones. What is spooky is not that the fathers go out in public with their weird sexual preferences, but that the rest of the family is indulging in it.
Someone should dial PETA on these acts of savagery. The patriarch on the right would have a hard time behind bars with the wicked smile of his.
Find a place to sit and prepare yourself. The next photo is worse than anything you’ve seen before.
7. Pantyhose Posing – Then And Now
Nothing beats a good old “then and now.”
Add in a weird fetish, and you’ve successfully proven that it’s impossible for people to change. The only variable here is the pet that has to witness the horror and get photographed.
If you wonder why the cat was replaced with a dog, the answer will shock you and ruin your mind. Normally cats have no trouble living past ten years. However, the poor one died of asphyxiation.
As you can see, your typical family album is generous enough to include evidence of homicide. Let’s call it caticide to be 100% correct.
The disturbed young girl grew up as forecasted. She has a pet cemetery in the back yard with enough space to accommodate a choked boyfriend once in a while.
Let’s move on to an alternate reality where such things evolve in a different way. You will love the pic at #8!
8. The Wildest Dream Of Every Cat Lady Out There
Who would have though? Joanna was thrilled when her home state legalized interspecies marriages.
Forget about gay rights. We are talking even more advanced stuff here. As we know so well, the traditional institution of marriage is falling apart. Why marry a man that will develop a beer belly as fast as you can say “yes,” when a tomcat can offer the same level of satisfaction.
We don’t know what this odd couple does in private, and we are afraid to ask the question. However, the woman’s face radiates with joy. She stood up for what she truly is and made a bold statement for all the cat ladies out there.
Of course, there are legal issues attached. But rest assured! The marriage officiant that translated the “meow” as a “yes” had years of experience trying to figure out what cats communicate to us.
The next pet cat got even luckier. Its owners chose a trippy theme for their weird family photo collage.
9. Getting All Trippy With Tom
The Crab Nebula never looked so impressive.
When you juxtapose a weird family and a photo of deep space, what you get is the sensation that the one editing the shots smoked some pot while doing the Photoshop work.
As usual, the cat was caught off guard when they called the cheese. In the parallel universe where cats run society, that would be pretty pornographic.
Even so, we have a lot of weird folks that would get pretty aroused by seeing a cat’s soft white underbelly. And you still ask why people marry or adopt their pets?
Why bother to grow up and have real kids when they can play mom and dad with little Tom? The feline has seen worse than having her litter switched with diapers. At least we know which one of the parents to blame for the ears.
Take a deep breath. The photo at #10 is disturbing in so many ways you might consider skipping.
10. The Gerbil, The Lolita, And The Awful Modern Art
We pity the one that took the photo. It is so messed up it can ruin one’s mind for good.
Let’s start with the obvious. The gerbil is in distress and feels uncomfortable to be a part of the whole plot. We can almost hear its tiny little hurt pumping the blood at way too many beats per minute.
Coming off age was a serious challenge for Sophie. Not only her make-up and seduction skills are unpolished, but her choice of a pet is the least tantalizing. Who would mess around with this Lolita after her hands fondled not the cleanest of animals?
The truly offensive part starts once you focus on the background. That crude form of art looks like a 1-year-old learning how to squeeze paint out of the tubes. We are sure glad we did not live in those troubled 80s.
Tired of mammals? Check out the next weird choice of a pet and the awkward family photo that resulted.
11. Trying To Convince The Duck She Is Not Adopted
Fitting in is never easy, and you know who to blame.
When Charles Darwin created the world and everything in it, he made it clear that ducks and humans have few things in common. However, there are always daredevils wishing to push the note.
The unusual photo suggests very clearly that all attempts to make the mallard feel like part of the family are destined to fail. Even playing dress up did not convince the scared creature.
“Birds of a feather flock together” is one saying that showed its flaws. With hunting season still pretty much on, and given the limited memory ducks have, the little fellow will always fear for its life.
No one is sure what the next photo means.
12. Living In The Countryside Has Its Perks
Let’s start with the obvious.
The harvest was generous that year and pumpkins grew to epic proportions. But why take a photo that includes both the oversized vegetable and your favorite pet?
Failed family photos taught us that we are typically dealing with simple-minded folks, the ones that are never shy to ruin their reputation by allowing creepy details to go on public record.
The metaphor seen here extends on so many levels that we don’t even know from where to grasp it. We might as well move along to something else. Those long winter night at the farm can get people so lonesome, that we fear the worst for that little dog. Even worse would be imagining weird uses of that generous pumpkin.
13. Those Cats Had Better Days
Some cats are lucky; others are not.
Nothing highlights that better than the photo seen here. Although both look severely unhappy and pissed off, we all know what is bothering the orange one.
Sitting in the lap of a naked man counts as the worst disgrace a feline can go through. Her existence was ruined even further by the fact that the camera captured the whole thing.
Some family photos are awkward, but others make us think that someone forgot to lock the mental hospital. Why go naked full naked if you still use the cats to hide the shame parts?
Could it be that we are getting all wrong? The couple we are roasting here might be doing some voluntary work for PETA. Nevertheless, using hot naked models has a better chance of getting people’s attention.
We can only hope the fat man can contain those naughty thoughts.
14. None Of Them Is A Good Boy
The photo shows what happens when you reach a delicate topic.
When the photographer asked “Who’s a good boy” it immediately sparked an old family feud. The two dogs waged conflicts of grand proportions to be crowned “favorite” and peace was always fragile.
From our positions, the two pets seem rabid. The hate in their eyes and those sharp canines are in contrast with the cheerful mood the human side of the family can put up.
What the casual observer will never spot is that the shot was taken just seconds before it all turned into a bloodbath. Aroused by the rivalry this family staged a good old-fashioned dog fight. Those white sweaters soon turned red.
Check out the cute way in which a pet can show its love towards all family members. At the same time!
15. Snakes Run In The Family
Samuel L. Jackson would not like this.
What is worse than snakes on a plane? While of course, having snakes in the house as pets. Just imagine the bedroom drama of not knowing who is teasing you in the middle of the night. Is it your husband’s hand or do you need to get things straight again with your pet?
One thing is sure. Snakes run in this family, and they help get everyone close together for an awkward shot. Just take a look at the older son facing you upside-down. If you could lip read, you would know he is begging to you to put him out of his misery.
We don’t know what moral value a pet snake can teach to kids. Double-crossing and sneaking around are the first things to come to mind.
Ready for the last weird photo?
16. Deal With It!
This photo went a bit rogue.
Instead of being weird and unexpected, it showed up on the cool side of the spectrum. Giving sunglasses to a dog turns the animal immediately from a good to a bad boy.
We should pinpoint the best things here. Wearing glasses helped all those involved hide their true identity and survive with their reputation intact.
You need witness protection when you wear ugly sweaters like those. Dot patterns are out of fashion since grandma was an attractive young lady.