Being a flight attendant makes you part of a broad conspiracy. Whether you are preparing for your first trip or you are a veteran of the skies, these 16 shocking secrets will help you understand the side of flying left in the shadows.
If you didn’t know until now, they chose gorgeous women to attend people while flying just to keep their minds away from the awful truth. Bonne voyage! And don’t forget to ignore the monsters you see on the wing of the plane.
1. Joining The Mile High Club Is Not As Fun As It Might Sound
We all dream about this. Sex at high altitude is a prospect able to arouse even those that fear jet lag.
No flight attendants will ever warn you about this at boarding, but they know exactly when two lovebirds are forcing their way in the Mile High Club. Passengers look like foolish schoolchildren when they make their way towards the toilet. Even more, long queues are keen to suggest to the bathroom is used for something else rather than an emergency.
Even if you manage to fool the crew, the experience is overrated. What we see in the movies is far from depicting reality. Toilets are not only small but also incredibly dirty and stinky.
Although it is not illegal to have sex on a plane, you might pay for the thrill with long hours at the security check. Airport authorities do not take such forms of disobedience lightly, and you might even get yourself banned by the company.
2. Dating Between Pilots And Flight Attendants
Yes, it happens, but not as often as you might think.
You should keep in mind that both pilots and flight attendants are at their jobs. And those are very well paid jobs. Why risk losing it all when there are plenty of free days to spend fooling around with ground people?
Even when it happens, the relations usually unfold at the hotel. All crewmembers are offered free accommodation in the cities they fly to and things often unwind after a long day of dealing with annoying passengers and hijackers.
However, the whole thing is again overrated, mostly because beauty standards that govern the selection of flight attendants are no longer strict. Nowadays, even married women with children can wear those sexy outfits.
Like anything else, flying was spoiled by focusing on commercial gain. Flight attendants spend most of their time advertising various products. You can easily say that romance is dead onboard.
3. Sometimes You Get Male Flight Attendants
Flight attending has always been “women’s work.” As the gap between genders narrows down, more and more men take the high-altitude challenge.
Yes, it is incredibly awkward to have a male flight attendant asking if everything is ok. No, it’s not! Where is that gorgeous brunette that used to put a blanket in my lap? How am I supposed not to panic at turbulences when there is no short skirt in sight?
In fact, a myth goes around that at least half of those taking the job are gay. What better excuse to smile at random men and get close to them? The other half does it for the money.
There is nothing “girly” about being a flight attendant and we have to be “grateful” again to popular culture for creating the stereotype. Like any other job, it is open to everyone qualified for it.
Despite all that, there is something about female flight attendants that makes you want to fly more. Who knows, maybe you will grow the balls and ask one to escort you in the Mile High Club.
4. The Hidden Room Of Flight Attendants
Speaking of such fantasies, flight attendants do have a space of their own, just in case emergencies like that occur.
Just kidding! Crew Rest Compartments (CRCs) are meant to provide a space for sleep and relaxation during the long intercontinental flights. Passengers are by no means allowed here.
Everything on a plane revolves around space and weight economy. Even the bedrooms for the crewmembers falls inside that line, although they do have all the comfort needed.
Flight attendants often switch their sexy uniforms with cozy pajamas and fall asleep hugging teddy bears. As you probably suspected, the access to such a heaven is inconspicuous for passengers.
Long hauls and bunk beds might not be the perfect combination, but they offer the few minutes or hours of sleep needed to regain focus. Again, your dirty mind has nothing to cheer for.
Although pilots and flight attendants share the same space, they are too absorbed by the mission to keep you safe to have time for naughty stuff.
5. In Case Of Emergencies
Next time you see a flight attending struggling with the life vest, try to focus on what she is showing. It might save your life one day.
Contrary to popular belief, the minutes before takeoff when they show all the safety precautions are not pointless. That is not a theatrical performance to take you in a right flying mood.
We tend to focus more on flight tragedies where oxygen masks and seatbelts did little to help the poor souls trapped by the carnage. However, all you see on a plane regarding safety derived from practice, from what was proven effective or not.
Do not be ashamed to raise your hand and ask questions after the presentation. Although other passengers might see you as a geek that asks about homework in the classroom, crewmembers will be delighted by your genuine curiosity.
If you are lucky enough, that gorgeous flight attendants will give you individual tutoring. Buckling and unbuckling your seatbelt, or even showing you how to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, these are the perks of paying attention.
6. Being A Flight Attendant Changed A Lot Over The Years
The glory days of pillows, blankets, and good flight kisses on the forehead are long gone.
A flight company’s mission is no to take you from point A to point B in the fastest, safest, and cheapest way possible. Flying is no longer a luxury reserved for those living the high life. The job of being an attendant changed together with that.
For starters, the shocking rules of selection disappeared. A long time ago, you would have to be young, highly attractive, and most important single. Married women and women with children were considered unfit for bringing gentlemen their drinks.
The glory days of aviation are long gone, and we are left looking at vintage shots where the runway was first a catwalk for the female component of the crew. Being a pilot made you a Hugh Hefner in the eyes of your friends stuck on the ground.
A compelling image of today’s flight attending job is that of women in their forties advertising various product and campaigns during the voyage.
7. Tipping Is Not Forbidden
Being served food and drinks by a beauty dressed in a white shirt can make you feel like in a restaurant.
Moving forward with the idea, there is no harm in leaving a tip for a service you truly appreciated. However, the tricky part is greasing those palms or delivering the bills while not ruining the dignity of the recipient.
Most airline company actively discourage the habit and train their flight attendants to develop a firm stance against the practice. Even so, there is the unwritten rule that the third time is always the lucky one.
Crewmembers are far from having satisfying salaries, and a generous tip can also work to make their day better. The trick is to insist in a friendly manner.
There is an abundance of stories of what you can obtain by putting money in the right hands. Free drinks, an invitation to free business class seats or just a smile that goes far beyond the guidebook, all are reasons to let some Dollar (or Euro) bills fly.
Of course, you should never go as far as asking for the admission fee for the Mile High Club. Chances are you would end up talking with the captain seconds after you make the proposal.
8. They Might Allow You In The Cockpit If You Ask Nicely
One thing we all dreamt of doing was seeing the cockpit and shaking hands with the brave men that transported us safely.
A lot has changed since 9/11, and the chances of accomplishing the dream are slim. Even so, there is still light at the end of the tunnel for you.
No flight attendant will ever tell you this, but if you are persistent in a friendly manner, the crewmembers might grow fond of you and put a good word with the captain. Maximum odds are just after a landing, went all are in relief that things went smooth.
Even so, you need to acknowledge the three levels of obstacles. Government regulations, airline regulations, and the will of the captain, all matter whether there let you in or not.
As a rule, you stand no chance if you are dressed like the young girl in the image. Although it hurts, pilots know that such distractions can put everyone in danger. Also, don’t expect to get anywhere near the cockpit with a large beard, thick sunglasses, and the alarm clock you bought as a souvenir.
9. Electronics On Board
Please switch all your electronic devices off or to flight mode.
We all know the drill but what no crewmember will ever tell us is that there is hardly any solid scientific proof that links electronic devices with flight disasters.
Even some pilots went as far as admitting that this is a superstition prevailing in the industry.
As our lives are getting more and more dependent on gadgets, we are sure at least some airline companies will make the step and toss this rule out. Of course, the future where you will have to put up with random people yammering about their pathetic lives might not be good.
It is a given fact that Wi-Fi and Bluetooth are not able to disturb the airplane’s communications. Flights were they offer you a 3G network are already available.
10. The Older You Are The Shorter The Skirt Gets
Sexy attendants are an essential part of the flying culture.
Even if you are a frequent passenger, you have no chance of spotting the complex hierarchies that exist between crewmembers. Like in every workspace, being older and more experienced puts you in a commanding position.
When it comes to female flight attendants, there is nothing more exponential than the length of the skirt. Rookies have to comply with the company’s strict regulations while more seasoned stewards are allowed to play with the hem how they like.
Flight attendants that are new to the job have to prove their skills before allowing the goodies a place under the sun. Being younger also makes you a distraction for the pilots, not the kind of scenario you would want for someone ultimately responsible for safety.
Senior attendants often show more skin just to keep up with their younger colleagues. Nothing works better about men than giving in one step at a time.
11. Planes Often Carry Creepy Stuff
Planes often carry creepy things in the hold. And we are not talking about venomous snakes waiting for the opportunity to bite unsuspecting passengers in their sleep.
If you hear the crew members talk about HR, you should know there are not talking about the Human Resources department. However, no one will ever confirm the secret you are about to find out here.
HR comes from “human remains.” Yes, dead bodies and even donated organs fly from one point of the world to another. It might sound creepy, but that is one solution to keep the price of your ticket low.
Are you glad you caught that incredible deal for your flight? The reason was not the company’s generous response to your need to travel.
Anyone who went through such an ordeal knows that repatriating costs a lot. Why? Do we really have to tell you what happens to the human body once the soul escapes?
12. Planes Fly Slightly Broken
You will never hear this secret from flight attendants, not in a million years.
Airplanes are complicated machines that have tens of thousands of small components, all with different life spans and various vulnerabilities. Not to mention the fact that you are asking a mechanic and electronic system to get along when they always face “irreconcilable differences.”
You will probably feel extremely uncomfortable the next time you will fly. At least some components are broken the moment you take off and some break in mid-air. Fortunately, many backup procedures make such failures completely harmless.
Pilots do a routine check-up on each take-off and planes are put through a full-scale inspection once in a while.
Even so, keep in mind that few companies afford to buy new aircraft. Most of what you see in today’s sky is long overdue. Never open such a conversation with a flight attendant. They will go all the needed miles to dismiss the claims.
13. Only The Hours In The Air Are Paid
Next time your flight is delayed or canceled, know that you are not the only one feeling miserable.
You will never hear this directly from flight attendants, and some passengers still regard it as a myth. Payment is calculated only for the time between the moment the plane’s doors close, and the moment the aircraft lands safely.
All those long minutes of preparation never get what they deserve. Think again next time you take 10 minutes just to go through your cabin luggage to retrieve those hidden headphones. You are playing with the crew’s nerves and wasting their time.
Of course, divided by hours, the paycheck is substantially higher than in most industries. Keep one thing in mind. You might fear for your life once thousands of meters into the air, but flight attendants deal with the so-called danger a couple of times a day, every day.
14. The Captain Is The Boss
You might not see the captain before, during and after the flight, but he/she is the one making all the calls.
Some countries have sky marshals invested with superior powers, and with one goal set – neutralize hijackers. When that doesn’t apply, the captain is the higher authority.
Discipline is an important matter, and the first pilot can go as far as removing troublemakers from the flight. Of course, that does not happen mid-air, but before takeoff.
Flight conditions are interesting because they create a unique judicial scenario. Whose laws apply when you are kilometers away from any land border? The correct answer depends on the country in which the aircraft was registered as well as on the internal policies of the company.
Just remember that you can get a substantial penalty for not complying with the rules. There is a fine line between smiling back to a cute flight attendant and engaging in sexual harassment.
15. How Planes Go Missing
This topic is taboo to talk on board a plane, and you should never expect to find a flight attendant willing to answer to your existential dilemmas.
Planes that go missing steal the headlines for weeks in a row. It is still impossible to comprehend how we can lose track of something able to communicate its position every step of the way.
This is where flying practice kicks in. When long hauls cross over unpopulated areas, communication fades to a minimum. Messages are sent just in case something goes wrong, to pinpoint the last known location and make rescue missions easier.
However, bad things often happen in a blink of an eye. Explosions on board can render any aircraft impossible to communicate. Black boxes often revealed that the pilot and co-pilot were so focused on finding solutions that they forget to tell the rest of the world that they are in trouble.
Don’t be savage to open the topic with someone flying for the first time.
16. Yelling Often Gets Things Done
If you acted like a bad boy during boarding procedures, you probably know this shocking secret already.
Flight attendants go through a lot of schooling to develop an incredible sense of patience. Dealing with hundreds of people at a time and getting them ready for take-off is not easy.
Occasionally, some wise guys reject all the rules imposed on them and act in deranging ways, insulting and even assaulting members of the crews.
You will be happy to know that even the worst scenarios are taken into account before. When a smile and a friendly warning do not work, those bombshells are authorized to yell.
Believe us; you don’t want to a 45-year-old to spill out all of her frustrations on you and make you feel miserable. Being a flight attendant is sometimes about having the lungs and the evil blood to make even the cockiest passenger feel pathetic.