Every girl does nasty and regrettable things once intoxicated. You will never believe what a night of heavy-weight boozing can do to those inhibitions!
Girls are lost once their moral compass fails to point out the righteous behavior. Check out the most common 16 innocent mistakes every one of them eventually commits. Hurry up before the article and our authors get lynched by feminists!
1. Waking Up With A Stranger In Bed
Morning is that time of the day when a long night of drinking kicks you right in the ass.
But what happens if you end up with more than a headache and a sick stomach? Every girl did this at least once – wake-up next to an entirely random stranger playing Candy Crush on the phone.
It is complicated inviting people out of your bed when you have no clue of what happened last night. As you text your girlfriends in a desperate attempt to patch your memory, he is already making breakfast and calling you “honey.”
Although it seems you are stuck with last night’s “catch,” talking about commitments will scare even the loneliest guy.
If you think this is the worst that can happen, wait until you see what’s next.
2. Hugging The Toilet
We often reserve hugs for people we love. However, when puke is involved, the only friend remaining is a good old toilet.
Nothing beats the cold embrace of porcelain and the silence of the bathroom tiles. When the head starts spinning, the toilet will be there to comfort you and review the food you ate at dinner.
Falling asleep while hugging the toilet is a rite of passage. Every girl eventually succumbs to this side effect of drinking, and there is little shame attached to it – at least until someone takes photos.
You can go as far as saying that a party is doomed if no girl locks herself in the bathroom for that purpose.
3. Getting An Awkward Tatoo
Calling your friends to decipher the tattoo you took last night is not a god idea. Chances are they are more stoned than you.
Every girl eventually makes the innocent mistake of inking her body (or worse, her face) after heavy boozing. The only thing to talk here is the scale of the disaster.
A strange paradox occurs. The more intimate the area – the fewer will know your shame. We can bet on one thing. The girl in the photo regrets the moment she backed away from having her lady parts tattooed instead.
We are not familiar with constellations. Therefore, we can only assume the young boozy described drunkard visions to the wannabe artist. Not a win for her.
4. Hooking Up With A Nerd
We will upset a lot of nerds with this one. Yep, hooking up with men you would otherwise reject counts as a mistake.
Innocent or not, it largely depends on how far things went between you two. If he only showed you his Star Wars collection, the harm is reversible.
And believe us, at least one of your “friends” took pictures. Sharing is caring, and the entire social media will have a closer look at your disgusting mating choices.
Most girls are not aware that this is the first step towards an unhappy life. Once the rumor that you like nerds is out, you will have no escape from them.
Next thing you know, you are married to one.
5. Showing Off Flexibility
Wait just a second, mister! If you have no clue to why flexibility is important in a woman’s body, you should close the Internet and head to school.
Being a lady means keeping those fine legs close to each other. However, when alcohol steps in, any different angle works. You have a valid excuse to put aside all the inhibitions.
Showing off is one of the most common side effects of having that extra drink. When flaunting body assets and flirting without shame is not enough, girls bring the heavy artillery.
Just look at the photo above. That wild girl is out of control, forcing men to revisit their anatomy and geometry knowledge.
6. Drinking Straight from the Bottle
Drinking straight from the bottle is a topic hard to discuss.
First of all, scientists fail to agree if this is an early or late stage of female boozing. Whatever the case, skipping the glass means that a woman’s ties are loose. Other innocent mistakes are on their way.
Using the bottle triggers an abnormal reaction in men’s heads. Last time we checked, there was no clear correlation between sipping the magic fluid and one’s predisposition for oral sex.
One thing is for sure. Grabbing the bottle from the neck shows that the girl is comfortable with what she is doing and enjoying herself. She also expresses dominance.
Forget everything you learned. Drinking from the bottle is not only sexy but also efficient. The nights are short in the summer and getting wasted is a priority.
7. Regretting Poor Life Choices
There is nothing more dangerous for a drunk girl than having time to reflect on her life.
Alcohol ruins inhibitions and remorse. However, when the effects fade, that darn brain of yours kick in to make you feel bad.
What starts with “Why did I drink so much?” quickly evolves to “Daddy never loved me!” With no more liquor to fill in the spot, a large void opens inside a girl’s heart.
The best way to forget about college, being pregnant, and killing the cat while DUI, is to make another poor choice. We are only halfway through the list, so there are plenty of options available.
Remember what your momma told you. No, not the fact that you should replace dad with a sugar daddy. Bear in mind that regrets are for losers and there is no point of making your hangover even worse.
8. Acting Like A Stripper
Alcohol is the biggest liar a girl can meet. Ending up without clothes in public is an innocent mistake every girl eventually makes.
Forget about how boys used to trick you into getting naked. A night of heavy boozing will do miracles in convincing your body to reveal itself to the world.
It doesn’t matter if you are heavy like the lady in the photo above or flat like a plank. That extra drink will give you the courage and insanity to challenge today’s beauty standards.
We are all beautiful on the inside. This is how most girls justify the horrific striptease shows that torture the unlucky audience. Public spaces abound with poles and cops never show up inside the first ten minutes.
Nevertheless, acting like a stripper can open unexpected doors for you. Just make sure it is not one of those poor life choices.
9. Posting Sexy Selfies
Every girl takes selfies nowadays. But how many of them get the courage to take sexy selfies and send them across.
Like with all innocent mistakes, alcohol kicks in to make you feel more desirable and less timid. At this point, things can go two ways.
Coming out of your shell is not a bad thing. It is easier to date someone once the “sexy selfie” barrier is off. Back in the days, boys went through a lot of trouble to see a girl’s undies.
Nevertheless, most girls grow regrets in the morning. What might initially arouse your love interest, ends up labeling you as “easy.”
10. Passing Out On The Table
Girls that drink too much often pass out in awkward places.
The sight is not always pretty like in the photo above. Napping habits of those intoxicated are sometimes gruesome. Puke and bad odor often come in the package.
Waking up naked and surrounded by empty bottles can make any girl hit a low point. Asking yourself what’s happened last night is a sound basis for mending things in your life.
If you woke up almost naked and in an uncomfortable position, just call your friends and check if you did something genuinely regrettable. Don’t be surprised to have ended the night with two or three boyfriends.
11. Drunk Dialing Ex Boyfriends
Alcohol likes to play Cupid, and desperate, lonely girls end up calling their ex.
The scene is so classic that they are close to teaching it in school. When logic is out of sight, the mind often reverts to earlier periods of one’s life.
No straight man can refuse a call from a girl in distress. They are capable of showing compassion and patience, especially when the possibility of free sex comes out of the blue.
Some say that drunk dialing makes a girl look desperate. We tend to believe that this mistake shows once more that the weaker sex invests more in feelings.
Of course, if you are married with children and living in a different time zone, comforting a one-night stand that calls at inappropriate hours is not fun.
12. Downloading Bad Pop Music
Underage drinking amongst young girls explains a paranormal pop phenomenon like Justin Bieber.
The recipe is simple. Too much alcohol highjacks the pleasure centers in the brain and can make you receptive to awful lyrics.
You can even be a girl playing in the Philharmonic. Adding extra drinks to that single night cap can change one’s music preferences in a shocking way.
Yep, it does not take long before you turn to a belieber. “Baby, baby, baby oooh” suddenly does not sound so bad when alcohol is in the mix.
Downloading bad pop music while waiting for your turn to hug the toilet is the trademark of a perfect night. Be warned! It will make you feel ashamed in the morning more than anything else.
13. Having A Catfight
You probably got this wrong. We are not talking about forcing stray cats to fight each other to death on the streets.
Although that sounds fun, we refer to the basic instinct of picking a scuffle with other girls. Any motif works as long as you drank enough. Chances are you this experience will reveal that you like pain.
Men obsess with catfights, and you should orchestrate one for your friends to enjoy. Just make sure not to ruin the other girl beyond repair. Pulling her hair, calling her a “skank,” or spilling Martini on her white dress, these are all ways to make her retaliate.
The idea that girls are gentle and peaceful creatures is long gone. Nature did not equip them with long nails and stiletto heels for nothing.
14. Singing Karaoke
Men and women have one thing in common. When they drink, they often showcase their singing “skills” in karaoke.
Humming your favorite song while on the dance floor is one thing. Getting behind the microphone and ruining eardrums is an entirely different story. We can all “thank” alcohol for the incredible transition.
Brutal measures are required to curb a girl’s enthusiasm. The DJ in the photo has seen too many ruined parties not to intervene. Yes, his momma taught him not to hit a lady. But she was no longer a lady by the time she let loose that awful voice.
15. Cat Calling Guys
Mating habits in the human world imply that men are the ones chasing women.
However, everything changes when girls discover the hidden stash of alcohol and go out of control. Calling guys is one innocent mistake only drank girls perpetrate.
Cat calling guys is not yet a crime, but chances are men will fight for their rights to invoke sexual harassment. Yes, it is funny being called “cutie pie” or “rosy cheeks.”
However, when horny drunk women touch your firm butt, you ceased to be a person and become an object.
Men should take action. Cat calling needs to stops and is up to you to share your horror story with the rest of the world.
16. Having Too Much Fun You End Up Depressed For The Rest Of Your Life
The last innocent mistake drunk girls usually make is counter intuitive.
What is wrong in having the best time of your life? Don’t ask us. Ask all the severely depressed girls that live in the past. The “perfect party” left them drifting without purpose.
Memories are good to keep you warm. However, they sometimes come back to haunt you in the least expected ways. When you go home before midnight, and before drinking enough to make a mistake, you are certainly on a slope down.
There is no puke on your dress. No minute photos with your BFF’s turned mugshot. And no phone number turned to unsafe sex.
Congratulations, you have become what you always hated – that nagging grown up that yells at people to keep it down.