Nature is wonderful, and the many ways in which an animal can kill you shows how much work Evolution had to do to avoid annoying people.
A walk in the woods or going for a swim will never be the same once you read about how painful and traumatic your encounter with an animal can get. It is hard to talk about which is worse, so the list is in no particular order.
Choose your own favorite and stay away from scenarios that scared you.
Being hit by a car or having a terrorist detonate its charge near you would seem like a piece of cake once you hear the awful ways in which nature’s most bloodthirsty killers do their job. Forget about being precise, meticulous, or making the prey suffer less. While food might be on the agenda, some animals kill just for the thrill of it.
Do not lose your breath trying to explain that bear you are at the top of the trophic chain. That crocodile does not care about diet and your percentage of body fat. Showing your history of donating blood will never obtain you a “Get Out of Trouble Free” card while Nature’s laws are at play.
1. Drowned and Butchered to Death
Crocodiles rank as nature’s most savage killers. While most people believe that these predators swallow their victims whole, crocodiles have a healthy habit of chewing first.
A visit to your local butcher shop can you give the most accurate depiction of what goes through a crocodile’s mind when humans are on the menu, although the drowning part remains to your imagination.
Powerful jaws drag the scared prey under water while spinning techniques remind you of that crazy fitness instructor that used to make your body hurt in new ways. The scope here is to disorient the prey and reduce its chances of escaping.
Crocodiles usually show less mercy than surgeons do. They do not wait for you to go to “sleep” before operating.
Rare survivors of such attacks are left without one or more limbs. The mental trauma comes as a lesson.
2. A Live Anatomy Lesson
The anatomy lessons you had in high school are nothing compared to what can happen to you if you visit Australia.
This continent has a solid reputation of welcoming outsiders with an impressive number of creatures that can kill you. The odd thing is that some of them look completely harmless.
Cassowaries are large birds, and you certainly would not expect them to be a threat. However, when people do stupid things like stealing their eggs or peting their chicks, things get to a whole new level.
Cassowary birds have claws like all birds, but one of them is particularly interesting in shape and size. Equipped with a dagger-like claw that can be 125 millimeters in length, and being capable of running at up to 50 km/h, this bird means business when it goes after you.
There are numerous reports of people having their arms completely cut off or their abdomen slit open. Yes, you can get that promised anatomy lesson if the cut is taken in the right place. And believe us, you won’t be able to fit those organs back where they are supposed to be.
3. Eaten Alive
Bears and big cats often steal the show when it comes to the human fear of being eaten alive by creatures living on land.
While they can indeed kill you, they will rarely proceed in consuming your entire body. Not the same can be said about animals operating in packs.
Do not expect wolves and hyenas to hold your hands while you live your last seconds on this earth. Creatures that organize themselves in packs have a very different agenda and eating the prey immediately after putting it down is a matter of having access to the tastiest and most nutritious parts before they rot.
While it is a bit uncomfortable for you to watch an entire pack feasting on your body, there is another good reason for this to be nature’s way. Warm meals make digestion easier, and blood loss is your equivalent of dropping food from your plate.
No ones like to waste when the next guided tour visiting the area is weeks away.
4. Lifted and Dropped to Death
Sometimes the threat comes from the sky, and when the sun turns dark, it means it is time to seek refuge.
The Eagle might be the symbol of freedom and democracy, but it is also one of nature’s most pragmatic killer. While most animals take the nasty job in their own hands (well, claws), big birds like the eagle let gravity do the trick.
Reports of eagles carrying both wild and domestic animals show that when it comes to eating a fresh meal, it does not matter the species. This being said, Eagles were never shy to steal babies and small children, right from the hands of their parents.
The height from which the prey is dropped is a simple equation. The higher you go and the harder the surface, the more effective the impact is. Few victims still breathe when the beak begins to drill and rip things apart.
5. Shot through the Heart, And You’re To Blame
The Internet is full of people enjoying the company of stingrays and swimming right alongside them.
If you push your mind, you can even see their faces harboring a smile. The fact that people continue doing this stuff even after the tragic event that involved Steve Irwin proves that tourists tend to forget about the dangers when fun is involved.
Stingrays are called like that for a good reason. The end of their tails is equipped with a stinger that can go up to 150 centimeters in length. Add the fact that the tail acts as a whip and you get closer to the harm it can cause.
With thousands of reported injuries each year, things get more serious when the sting punctures a vital organ. Venom, the barbs left there when the sting is removed, as well as the bacteria that come along, all of them are capable of complicating the injury.
Yes, stingrays are far from being as dangerous as crocodiles, and it takes an incredible bad luck to be killed by one. Nevertheless, it happened to Steve, and it can happen to you.
Love is not the only thing that can pierce your heart while on a tropical vacation.
6. Trampled to Death
For most people, elephants are harmless intelligent giants that smile for the camera and even do tricks with their trunk. Just admit that taking a shower under the trunk of an elephant was the wildest dream of your childhood.
However, this is one distorted view of one of the most dangerous wild animal in the world. Crocodiles, sharks, and other vicious beasts steal the show the moment one case is reported. At the same time, elephants kill hundreds of people each year on average and go away virtually unnoticed.
In India, elephants enter villages at night, destroying houses and killing people in their sleep, in what seems to be a typical revenge-driven behavior.
The way an elephant can kill you is almost unique. While the rest of the list made you familiar with claws, beaks, or mouths full of sharp teeth, the elephant will never bother to lower to that level. Elephants are fast enough to keep up with any unprofessional runner, and once in range, they will use their impressive weight to crush you to the ground.
Although it might feel like a massage at the beginning, this one masseur does not know when to stop. Being trampled by an angry elephant should be your worst fear during a safari.
7. Stalked, Ambushed, and Having Your Skull Crushed
Have you ever had the feeling that someone is watching you from a close distance, just waiting for you to lose focus and put yourself in a vulnerable position?
Using advanced stealth techniques and moving fast and silent, we are of course not talking about your cat at home.
While your pet feline might hate you and plot to kill you, a bigger version of that is the thing you should worry. Most big cats kill by strangulating the prey. A bite at neck level is enough to do that, and few animals can escape that awful “kiss” of death.
Jaguars are notorious for being overconfident and for using methods that are more gruesome. The skull bite is one technique that guarantees success if the teeth pierce all the way to the brain.
If you ever wonder what you would feel, we will make the job easier. The pain is excruciating, and it can compare with having your head stuck under a press.
Scientists often disagree on the killing factor. Damage in some parts of the brain is rarely non-fatal, and we could be talking about extensive hemorrhage.
Next time you travel in South and Central America, do not trust your guide when he tells you it is just the wind making those leaves rattle.
8. A Hug Until The Very End – Constriction
Not venomous snakes have a disadvantage that pushed their creativity to its maximum. What begins as a greeting hug in the jungle might leave you without a breath in just a matter of minutes.
Pythons and boas are the most notorious constrictor snakes, with anacondas being a regional type of the later. Constriction is the terms used to describe their way of operating, and it targets to narrow down your pulmonary capacity.
While the method is less bloody than others in our list, it will not go done on you lightly. Survivors of constriction episodes describe them as the kind of hug your obsessive girlfriend gives to you when you return after a long trip.
However, a pat on the back or a whisper in the ear will never end your date with the anaconda.
9. Feel the Electricity
Electricity will most likely not be a part of your South American jungle adventure, at least not in the form you know and use back home.
A swim in that clear water can quickly become the last one, and you would die the same way stupid people do when they bath with their electrical appliances close buy.
Electric eels are not a type of DJs, but a fish species that lives in the Amazon and Orinoco rivers. While they are not technically eels, they do have an elongated body that justifies the name. 600 volts at 1 Ampere are enough to stun or kill a human, depending on a serious of factors. We all know how well water can transmit electricity, so any visit to see eels in their natural habitat can be the last one.
Keep one good thing in mind. Electric eels will never eat your body. Piranhas or caimans are always the ones to finish the job and make all retrieval actions in vain.
10. Forget about the Revenant
Hollywood has a funny way of educating the public, and some of the “knowledge” coming from there is simply hilarious.
Odds of surviving a bear maul are smaller than the odds of turning that grizzly into a pet. Bears have a reputation to maintain and leaving an unfinished job is not exactly their style.
There are many ways to piss off a bear and few ways of escaping if he is really onto you. Running, playing dead, climbing trees, all of them were debunked and proved to be just as useful as saying your last prayer.
It helps to have one clear thing in mind. If you survived, the bear allowed that to happen. Whether you are a bear expert or just an actor, escaping a bear maul is equally challenging. Being mauled to death by Grizzly Bear, Polar Bear, Brown Bear, and even by a Sloth Bear is equally painful and traumatic.
Even Panda Bears should be feared.